Be your own true color ^___^ romantic story included~

Salam..

Tonight I feel so excited and thrill to share with you a story about myself..I want it to be a proof why we need to be our own true color and be unique...don't be afraid of that....as my case prove it, being who you are, being honest with what you feel without any taught on anyone else might think of you is so much more charming and attractive...

Ok, here it goes...

I was in Damansara Utama, Form 1..I was young..I could still remember my best friend, Hidayah...One day, there was an announcement that WWF organization would select 10 lucky students to participate in their camping in Fraser Hill for 3 days 2 night for free..only 10..everyone nak join..

So, I was happy and immediately jump to that opportunity, so I filled the form and passed it up..I also asked my best friend to join me..It will be fun! because I enjoy camping so much..even now.. I prayed I will be chosen..

After a week, the names were out, and...they didn't picked me :( ..I was sad, but I don't think much of it..then, so so later la, one of the prefect came to see me and said would I like to join the camp since one of the student couldn't make it..and I said YES!! OF COURSE!!

So, on that fateful day, on the bus, we were heading to the office of WWF in Kelana Jaya..I'm excited because other schools participated too, Damansara Jaya, Kelana Jaya, Taman Tun and many more..we couldn't wait to usha the guys..huihui( gatai..) Along the way, I was having good time with Hidayah and we were very grateful to be there.

Once arrived, I was mesmerized with the students..A lot of them, like 90 % were BOYS..but, they are CHINESE...but, Hey, they look so handsome and dashing...hehe..I felt immediate shyness..*blushing*

I was the only one there with Tudung, and by judging how 'elite' was the situation at that time, I was considered as an outcast and I stand out in the crowd for wearing tudung..I felt embarrassed to be honest, but I still be myself anyway....then..

In the bus, on our way to the Fraser Hill, my friend, Hidayah already had befriended many guys and exchanging phone number.."wah, she was really good with guys", I said quietly while looking at her and moaning on the fact that, I couldn't even talk to one guy there..

There I was, sitting quietly, with blank expression while my friend besides me chatting noisily and happily... ( Teenager being teenager..everyone have been there, rite? hehehe, blame hormones!)

We were almost there and the journey was getting BAD for me, as we reach the sloppy road...I became dizzy quickly and I always had nausea every time I board the bus..I usually end up vomiting and let me tell you, it was a scene you don't want to see..But, usually I have plastic and tissues with me, but this time, I DON'T have it!!! end of world!!!!

Omg....(panic nyer..) I have to be quick if else I will be the ugliest looking girl there and I wanted to protect myself from another embarrassment, so I saw a roll of tissue on top at the carriage, which in the middle sitting in the bus..I sat at the back of the bus because my friend was pretty( duduk blakang dlm bas dulu dulu kan dianggap hanya utk bdak "cool" je kan..) so, I endured the walking with sick feeling, and baru je nak capai tisu tu, the bus pusing selekoh, and I terduduk atas hensem boy..malunyer...( mcm dalam drama korea kan kan?)

pastu, the bus stopped to let me muntuh all beside the road, mcmtu sekali..everyone was talking about me..
"budak tudung vomit lah..aiyo.." "budak tudung" instantly become my nickname there.. cisss..- -"

Sampai di Fraser Hill...so beautiful, but, pendek kan citer..

I felt so lonely there..though I enjoyed myself with the activities, I felt terrible bcause I was alone as in xde orang nak mengurat I ke?? hehe..my friend mcm artis kot kat sana..*sigh*

There was one time, in of the activities, I fell so hard while running, I rasa so terok..I said, "oh no, now they are going to laugh at me"  but, they don't actually..One of them, in fact, yelled, "Cikgu, bdak bertudung jatuh!!!"  again I feel discomfort by that nickname..why can't they just called me Hanisa? I feel terrible after that and Hidayah tried to comfort me, she said, you really did fell so hard, they pitied you..ok, still embarrassed for me..or maybe I felt lagi worse kena pitied..

Then, malam esoknyer, another activities, was Mid-night jungle tracking!! klimak of this story la..Ahhh, this time, everyone try to get cozy with each other, girl and boys..boys try to tunjuk macho dan berani..so funny lar..It was really dark and it was midnight..scary when u r in the jungle of course..after dgr taklimat pe semua, the instructor lead us into the jungle..

Iseh, I touching lagi tgk semua jalan bercouple-couple( yes, I also jelez, but dulu dulu larrr..form 1 kot..hehe)
then, suddenly hujan lebat..adoi..mengsuspen kan lagi perjalanan ini...the instractor told us to use shortcut to returned back to hotel bcause it was dangerous to continue the activity..Sedih do, baru nak layan keindahan malam dgn bunyi bunyi cengkerik tu wpon xde kapel..(ye lah tuuu..)

While we walked in the rain..every guy was watching for their so called new love interest..even my friend dump me...again, I walk feeling so touching lagi..this time, very very badly...how could you leave me and walked with that guy u barely know ? everyone passed by me and I try to be strong and walk faster bcause u dont want to be the last to walk in the jungle, if u know what i mean (hantu)...

and suddenly, up infront, i could see a guy was waiting for someone..Ada bukit kecil kat dpan, so u kinda have to mendaki dgn susah sikit...dah la hujan lagi..bahaya kalau terjatuh..but, well, dont you worry because every girl ada boy utk help them, except me of course (monolog sendirian)

Hmmm, I said it can't be me, that HE was waiting for..I looked back and saw other girls too..maybe it was me? Dont perasaan lahhhh..I yelled dlm monolog...As I get closer to that guy, while the rain was heavily pouring, I was wet and everyone did..He looked at my in the eyes and extend a hand..

wait wait wait..what just happened here?.....

OMG....I was flattered and blushing all together..a handsome chinese guy is kindly enough to help me? seriously, in hanisa? I felt dumb a moment, nak pegang ke tak nak? kan haram pegang tangan lelaki? but, I at the end, hold his hand bcause its DARURAT, kan? I smiled at him and said thanks ( so sweet or what? just like in the movie..)

He pulled me up the hill and I mula dah perasaan and I tried to gave excuse, "oh maybe he is helping everyone at the back also"..but he did NOT!! hahaha, so much lucky..I feel so warmed and happiness overload walaupon dah basah kuyup, that guy was walking behind me and never he walked past me, I guess he want to make sure I was alright till the end..*oh melting* ada lah event2 yg best2 pastu kan dan laki tu..I didn't really think of him sbb sibuk having fun..

skip skip citer, waktu balik, I become new person and I didn't feel sad anymore..I couldn't believe myself that the guy with the strong hand there would have feeling for me too..
It turned out to be that he was the guy I had accidentally sat on him and sadly I don't even knew his name? Obviously not from our school..that guy is so hensem, lalala..self esteem increase by 9000..so, I'm kinda happy that at the end, one of them take the liking of me..

so sad that time, i dont have handphone, so I can't tell that guy to call me..because waktu balik tu, all of us, students exchange numbers :) peluang melepas! It's ok, I said because he is not muslim..LOL! what was I thinking?? By the way, i laughed during trip balik sebab all students muntah except me! haha, tu la ejek lagi..skrg semua rasa..hehehehe..

Isn't it a nice story? I always feel happy every time i reminisce that moment when he hold my hand and looked at me straight in the eyes..It shows that he likes me for who I am..I did not bukak my tudung just bcause I was socially pressured..I also did not act tough and I cried when I fell...I vomited and every minutes I was there, I was being honest with myself and I did not pretend to be other person..and at the end, out of hundred male students, one likes me..and he is hot..that is so great..


My advice to myself and other girls, just be who you are, if you are sad, don't act like you don't, If you like something, said it loud..if u want to be this person, then just be it..don't even think of what other might say..tell them at least you are real, honest and do not fake yourself to fit in...embrace it..and may one day, a good guy will extend his hand to  you too ( not literally)                           ^_______^

belajar make up, nak tak?

Salam..

 Ni semua ilusi make up..best sbb menggunakan kreativiti dan skill!

Unhappy model..

I'm not sure about this idea..but, I really want to do something about it..
here I am..a Malaya gurl who has strong and hardcore obsession with make up..
Of all the experiences and tips I've collected so far ( byk layan youtube sampai beribu video..)
I come to think, what i know should not be wasted and kept just for myself...

I want to share..
and I am willing to learn more after sharing..

I find that it's hard to find a blog created by a malay girl specifically talk about make up for my references.
So, I said to myself, why not?

Just try lah dulu, see how it goes first..
I'll try to convince my sister to participate as my model...
I strongly decline to make up myself (sekali dua, xpa la kot...)
because I don't like posing2 gitu ( sebenarnya xpandai pon - -" )
and I'm not photogenic either..hehehe..
which is contrary to my sister..( i think so..)

Keep updated with upcoming post..
It will be a new fresh fun hobby post :D

Attachment

Salam.

Hari ni sy sakit..m,, rasa lemah sgt..skrg dah ok skit..makan byk2 supaya kebah demam..nyum x3..hehe..

Penatnya buat Honour Project Paper..Haraplah semua berjalan lancar :D

I'm glad I'm getting stronger...and rajin-er..hehe..I'm glad that now I know how to Redha..

My mother is away in Kg..I miss her..

Syukur yea, Insya Allah, sy akan buat attachment dkat dgn rumah..yea, boleh jalan kaki! So much win..

life more brighter with 9gag( practice it everyday with siblings, LOL!)..

life more peaceful with Al Quran ^^

harap lah kali ni tidak ada apa halangan dan dimudahkan semuanya...

Tq pada semua yg mendoakan kemudahan dan kecemerlangan sy..

Praise to Allah SWT, who mould me to be who I am today..

Syukur Alhamdullillah... I'm grateful with what I have and what I am today..

Selamat Malam.

Please study harder this semester, ya ~

Musim Culik Orang...

Salam.

Tak tahu la kenapa, baru baru ni, banyak kes kes keculikan dilaporkan di akhbar..bermula dengan kes bdak lari dari rumah, merebak ke kes orang orang hilang..bila isu ni jadi panas, mula lah, pola research diluaskan..

bagi saya, memang merisaukan..bila dengar org kena culik, tak rasa meremang ke bulu roma? saya baru je balik sorang sorang slpas Pelancaran oleh Dato Najib ( so funny how people become jakun..hehe), pukul 11 malam, lalu kat Perindu plak tu..

sambil jalan, saya pasang defend,(petua saya la kan..) buat mimik muka hodoh, kembang hidung apa semua, memang lost ayu di situ tak kesah la, jalan pun mcm terencat je org tgk..memang kalau saya tgk saya sendiri jalan, saya pon face palm..sebab apa tau..saya selalu terdetik mungkin nnti ada orang menyelinap senyap senyap dari belakang dan serkup mulut saya dari belakang..dah tu dia minat..takkan dia nak jokes pulak malam malam dan ckap gurau jer..sebab tu kt haruslah memadamkan minat mrk sehingga tahap bawah zero..bayanglah saya dah la pegang pinggan plastik byk kuih mcm tak tau malu( free ma..hehe..).

serius saspen gler ah..saya ada mini heart attack, bila saya perasaan ada bayang bayang mengekori saya, rupa rupanya, bayang saya sendiri..haha..ok, literally  saya rasa mcm jantung saya nak jatuh kot..suspen je kena troll oleh shadow sendiri..

serious do, jgn la jalan sorang sorang malam malam buta bgitu..especially if u r girl..menyesal tak sudah nnti..kalau ter..tetiba..terlupa, eh, asal aku jalan sorang waktu malam nih? cepat cepat ler selawat dan berdoa sepanjang perjalanan, and praktis kan petua saya tu tadi..semoga Allah pelihara kt..

I always believe that we need to prepare before something REALLY happen! sebab tu beg saya penuh dan berat..bagi saya, semua penting la..pakaian pun begitu..tahu kalau plan nak jalan kaki, NEVER EVER pakai comel dan lawa!! biar selekah serabak pun takpe!! waktu ni bukan waktu nak rasa confident..ni waktu nak selamat jerrr..

Based from my experiences, kalau kt dah kena, atau org lain dah penah kena..mesti ambik iktibar dan beringat..sebab selalunya bila kt fikir benda ni tak akan boleh terjadi pada kt, waktu tuh la, dia akan jadi..humble kay..jgn arrogant, kuasa Allah, bila bila pun leh terjadi, even tak make sense..

I'm just concerned, I hate if this happen to me or other women..mahkota kt kan satu je..so....yah...cer kalau dia ajak geng raped ramai ramai? haa...camne tuhh? tak penah terfikir kan..kan..

ok tu jer..My wish,

Hopefully, all girls ada awareness utk jaga diri kt masing masing.. :)

The Biggest lesson I've learnt......

Malam ni, saya belajar banyak..banyak hikmah sekali..syukur Alhamdulillah..

Malam ni, saya belajar banyak dari KakD dan KakHani (roommates saya)..

Betapa kasihnya KakD pada saya, KakHani pada saya...

Mutiara nasihat mereka banyak memberikan semangat kepada saya...

Mereka terima kekurangan saya dan menukarkanya menjadi kebaikan saya...

saya akan pegang kata2 nasihat mereka..saya sangat sangat sayangkan mereka...

mereka lah kawan..mereka lah kakak..

mereka lah sebenar-benar kawan sejati saya....

sewaktu saya dilanda kekecewaan dan kesedihan..

mrk disini memberikan suntikan kasih sayang..

Di sini berada dgn mrk..

hati saya mjadi tenang dan mengingati Allah..

mbuatkan saya tidak putus asa berusaha menjadi baik dan meninggalkan kejahatan..

demikian pula, malam ini, saya mjadi jahat, mereka segera menarik saya semula ke jalan asal..

seolah2 mereka keluarga saya sendiri, tidak mahu saya menjadi jahat..

Mereka menyentuh hati saya sehingga manik manik air mata berguguran tanpa henti..

kerana baru malam ini saya sedar betapa mereka sayangkan saya dan menghargai saya seadanya...

mereka bilang pada saya, macamana org buat apa pun pada kita..

kita tetap ada Allah..

mereka mgkn ada kuasa manusia, tapi kalau saya bersabar dan mengadu pada Allah, saya akan memperoleh jaminan Allah..

malam ini juga, saya sedar betapa pro nya KakD melawan arus deras busuk hati manusia, dia boleh juga berjaya dan gembira..

hanya dengan BERSABAR dan BERDOA..

KakHani walaupun tubuhnya kecil, tapi hatinya BESAR..

sentiasa menyayangi dan bergurau senda dgn saya..
 
 Wahai kakak-kakak ku yang ku kasihi dan hormati..

akan saya pegang nasihat ini sampai  bila bila, dan akan saya turunkan juga pada ahli keluarga saya, Insya Allah...

saya mendoakan semoga Allah memakbulkan segala hajat kakak2 dan saya juga berjanji!

bila saya berjaya kelak, saya akan tolong akak dan keluarga akak sebaik yang mungkin..

hanya ini yang mampu saya lakukan..

selebihnya semoga kakak2, saya doakan mendapat keredhaan Allah dari dunia sampai akhirat..

bahagia, kaya, gembira, tenang, sihat dan sebagainya.....Insya Allah...

TERIMA KASIH KU!!

I love u guys very very very much! xmmmuuaahh!!!!

*cantik rupamu seindah budi mu*

Being alone means happiness...wait, what?

I have alot to say, because people need to know this about me.....

1. Saya berada di roda bawah skrg..perasaan yg gloomy apabila pegi ke kelas, sy buat buat dont know, buat buat saya tak kisah berjalan seorang diri dan duduk seorang diri..padahal saya kisah sangat sangat..tgk sekeliling org lain tgh chit chat dgn riang gembira..saya pernah berada di situ..skrg saya? saya ditemani buku...ah, mungkin skrg saya masih muda, jadi saya tidak dapat tidak punya perasaan ingin ditemani..Namun,saya fikir bila saya sudah bekerja esok, dah matang, saya pasti akan bersyukur sangat2 krn memilih cara ini..saya pilih buku dari berkawan, saya pilih belajar dari berjalan2..Ini cara hidup yg derita, tapi derita inilah yg akan membentuk sahsiah diri saya sblm saya terjun ke dalam alam perkerjaan esok..Itulah concept minda saya..apa yg saya buat, saya tidak mahu menyesal di kemudian hari..kerana perasaan yg paling saya benci ialah apabila saya menyesal buat kputusan..saya seorang yg suka mengimbas kembali..Jadi, saya mahu reflect balik tindakan saya dgn berkata " Nasib baik aku buat mcmni.." dan bukannya "Kenapa lah aku tak buat mcmtu"

2.Sebenarnya, saya sentiasa alu alukan sesiapa yg ingin berkawan dgn saya, tapi kalau xnak, tak kisah pon..people here assume that if u have no friends, u have no respect from us..social acceptance..look down at me? mula mula of course saya sedih giler ah, sbb saya suka kawan, dan org mcm tak layan saya(percaya semua gossip tu), ignore saya..wahh,dasyat ah org skrg..tapi priority saya skrg kat study, expectation ayah saya tinggi, I have to sacrifice..seriously, skrg, saya tak kisah, malah lagi saya suka, because u guys have low expectation that I would have the least chance to succeed, which triggers me even more to prove u r wrong..

3. Sir Shah, IL lecturer, ckap belajar lah kat luar negara, dpt belajar jadi Independant sbb kita seorang, semua buat sendiri..tapi, sy tak perlu, kerana dlm Uitm sendiri, sy dah rasa..feeling alone dah sebati da..semua kena buat sendiri..skrg, sy takde masa nak layan perasaan2 mcmni lagi..cukup cukup lah semester semester yg lepas..semua yg terjadi membuatkan saya lagi emotionally strong..Alhamdulillah..sbb ini jalan yg saya pilih..saya nekad utk berjaya..saya dapat merasakan saya makin cemerlang..Insya Allah..Alhamdulillah syukur saya panjatkan kepada Allah yang Maha Esa yg tidak pernah mengabaikan saya dan membantu saya utk dkat dgnnya..

4. saya tulis di sini juga berharap semua yg memandang saya semacam(pandang rendah, hina, meluat...) supaya teruskanlah supaya saya dapat ingat saya perlu usaha gigih..

P/S: Awak berada di atas, jgn ingat tak jatuh ke bawah..if u do, i see u there..Allah Maha Adil dan apa yg awak buat pasti akan berbalik semula pada awak..Jadi, berubah lah..sayang menyayangi antara saudara Islam kan itu lebih baik dan disukai Allah..

saya akhiri dgn pepatah yg menyedapkan hati saya..hehehe..

“Beauty is not based on how attractive we are to everybody else, but how attractive we are to ourselves, for one cannot think other people think they are full of beauty unless they know they are beautiful too.”

“Just when you think things can’t get any worse, they do. I’ve learned that life is like hour glass sand. Sooner or later, everything hits rock bottom, but all you have to do is be patient and wait for something to turn everything back around.”

“Love is the greatest feeling you will ever have, yet it is also one of the greatest sorrows. There is so much suffering, but then there are times when the crying, pain, and heartache is worth it. Those moments are perfect, they are right. Those moments make all the suffering worth while. It’s those moments we should live for.”

wpon xpandai, tetap mau belajar sampai pandai~

sejuk hati mak tgk~

Ini lah selebriti yg sy admire, Seohyun one of SNSD members..What she said about studying......
       

    "Even if I get an ‘F’ or get put on academic probation, I will continue to come to school diligently,”
  


http://www.allkpop.com/2011/11/snsds-seohyun-to-open-up-about-her-university-life


komen sy, sebagai student law, berasa amat malu dgn diri sendiri bila baca ayat ini..tp, sy akui kelemahan sy dan ambik attitude dia sbgai values utk di contohi in future..bgus la idol mcm ni..amat merendahkan diri..

Saya pon nak jadi mcm dia lah..

xcepat give up study, setelah melihat markah C..

tp, mempunyai azam utk baiki diri silap sana dan sini,

wpon sedih, sbb dicaci,

semangat berjuang tetap berapi2,

Laungan Agama akan disahuti,

memartabatkan ilmu sampai mati,

Insya Allah, hidup akan dirahmati,

Jaminan Allah sudah pasti,

Ditinggikan darjat di syurga nanti...

Amin~

Lepas ni, mesti lebih bersemangat utk belajar..Dont take study for granted!!

My wish, semoga kt semua dpt lebih dkat dgn Pencipta kita dgn ilmu2 yg kt pelajari ni.



P/s : Saya sangat2 menyanjung tinggi orang-orang yg values the price of education and knowledge..It's   
        PRICELESS!